HUMOR – “Punkin’ Donuts” Guitarist O’Bryan Drops New Tracks
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (OGSR – Los Angeles, CA, March 20, 2019) Former lead guitarist for the defunct Punkin’ Donuts, Slugger O’Bryan, is in New York City promoting his new album, “Can’t Recognize Myself in a Mirror.”
Slug—as he is known now—is perhaps best remembered for an off-stage incident that took place in the fall of 2014. As you may recall, after the Donuts fell apart Slug vanished from the music scene but found new life singing novelty songs such as “Hang on Droopy,” “Baby, Take a Little Piece of My Hat,” “When a Man Loves a Weirdo,” and the hugely successful pastiche of the Hollies’ “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother,” entitled “She Ain’t Chunky, She’s My Wife.” It had long been rumored that many of Slug’s novelty songs were about his long-suffering common-law wife, Bella Donna Schwartz, whose struggles with meth-amphetamine and food were well documented on the couple’s short-lived OGSR TV Network reality show.
Shortly after the release of “She Ain’t Chunky…” tragedy struck. Slug was found nearly beaten to death in his Miami apartment, which he shared with his wife. Although he never lost consciousness, Slug was unable to identify his attacker.
Following the attack Slug founded a group called “Men Attacked By Women.” But his attempt at activism was short-lived. His action of founding the group was roundly condemned on social media as an act of aggression against women.
The self-destructive side of Slug’s well-documented battle with addiction was on display during his ill-advised stint as spokesman for his “Men Attacked By Women” group. In one memorable exchange, captured in a YouTube video that currently has more than 37 million hits, Slug explained that, “In an enlightened age of equality, people should be allowed to be attacked in equal numbers—or at least ratio—regardless of their gender.” He later said the remark was taken out of context, but when asked to supply any other context, Slug declined to answer. For about a year.
Recently Slug began posting unplugged versions of famous Punkin’ Donuts songs on YouTube, including “I Hate Myself, But I Hate You More,” and the band’s famous 17-minute epic, “Shit on a Stick.”
Slug’s return to the stage coincided with his reconciliation with Bella Donna, as well as the launch of their new public access reality show, “The O’Bryans: From Here to Maternity.” The show documents the struggles of their daughter Sethisha, who attempts to adopt a baby emu from Australia. As you may recall from the couple’s earlier reality show, Sethisha used to be their son Seth.
(Editor’s Note: None of the people, places, songs or any other details in this “press release” are based on any actual person, place, song or situation, and are solely the product of the writer’s imagination. Or lack thereof.)